Blog 4 (Creative)

Creative – Create a short story documenting the interactions of an immigrant with an Australian door knocker in the style of Tibby Szabo and Miss Slattery.

Knock. Knock. Kno–
“Eh min?” echoed a voice from behind the door.
“Hi my name is Jason sir, im here from-”
The door slammed wide open.
“Ash bedak? What do you want?”
A well fed, middle aged Arabic looking man stood across the house entrance.
“Hi sir, my name is Jason im here from-“
“I know what you are, you are Jehovah’s witness!”
“No sir I assure you im-“
“Enough!” he yelled.
“You are at the wrong house I assure you this much.”
“Sir im not a Jehovah’s witness, im here from-”
“What are you? Enta Masihi? Are you a Christian?” he barked, raising his voice higher.
“Well sir I am actually, but-”
“Unna barref, I know these things. Let me tell you sumsing, Jonathon-“
“Jason sir-”
“Whatever.” he snapped.
“I know what you are. You are a protestation, you want to change me.”
“Protestant sir, and no Im not here for that-“
“Habibi, let me tell you sumsing” he repeated.
“Unna, im from Libanon. My family is Libanese, but we are Orthodox Greek.” he raised his eyebrows triumphantly.
“Sir thats wonderful but-“
“Habibi.” he repeated, proceeding to point at a thick gold chain nestled in between the forest of greyish hair adorning his chest.
“We are original Orthodox. You know what Orthodox mean? That mean the original way of Jesus. We are not interested!”
“Sir!”
“Eh what?” he replied, surprised that his monologue had been so abruptly interrupted.
“I am selling solar power sir, not evangelising, please if you could lend me your ears for just a few minutes. You could save hundereds of dollars every month.”
His expression changed, the caterpillar of a moustache nestled on his upper lip suddenly gave way to reveal a huge smile.
“Habibi why didn’t you just tell me!”
“Sir I tried-“
“Lek ya ahlo sahla, you come in for coffee and tell me all about your solar flower. Yallah come.”
“Solar power sir-“
“Ya Latifi, Ya Latifi!” he shouted across the house as he swivelled away from the door.
“Put on the Ahawe ya Latifi!”
“You drink with Sugar?” he said as he turned back around to face the door.
“One please.” sighed the salesman as he finally gave up.
“Yallah come Jonathon, we drink coffee, and we talk business.”

Key:
Eh min – whos that?
Ash bedak – what do you want?
Enta masihi – are you Christian?
Unna barref – I know
Habibi – my darling
Unna – me
Ahlo Sahla – welcome
Yalla – hurry up
Ahawe – Lebanese coffee
Latifi – female name